Shego's Strangest Mission
by Robert Teague
Summary: During a fight with Kim at the Middleton Museum, Shego vanishes, and finds herself on... Mars? Crossover with Duck Dodgers.
1. Vanished

Shego's Strangest Mission

by Robert Teague 29 November 2003

This story is written solely for the entertainment of Kim Possible fans, and no copyright infringment is intended. This story may be reproduced,  
provided no changes are made, and you let me know.

Chapter 1 Vanished

In the middle of the night, in the Middleton Museum, a familiar sight could be seen.

Dr. Drakken was gloating over a large diamond taken from a nearby broken display case.

"Yes, this will be perfect!" he said, grinning, "With this diamond to multiply the power output of my Destructo-Ray, I will soon rule the WORLD!! Ha ha ha!!"

Behind him, Kim Possible and Shego were mixing it up, with Ron Stoppable off to one side. Rufus sat on his shoulder, both cheering Kim on.

Kim had just tripped on some debris from the fight, and was a little off-balance. Shego saw this, and launched a flying kick to Kim's head.

"I've got you now!" Shego said in midair.

Kim gasped. There was no way to avoid the blow. She braced herself for the coming pain.

With her foot inches from Kim's face, Shego faded from view, and was gone. Kim slowly stood up, and looked around, as did Ron and Rufus.

"Huh?" said Kim, "Where's she go?"

"I dunno," said Ron, scratching his head.

"Don' see'er," said Rufus, scratching his.

Drakken's gloating was interrupted by the sudden ceasing of the sounds of fighting. He turned, hoping to see Kim Possible in pieces, but instead, she was just standing there looking around, as was the buffoon and his filthy rat.

"Where's Shego?" he asked.

"I-I don't know," said Kim, shrugging.

"What did you do with her?" asked Drakken, alarmed. He looked around, but could find no familiar figure in green and black anywhere.

"I didn't do ANYTHING, Drakken," said Kim, "She just...disappeared."

"That's right, Dr. D," said Ron, "One second she's there, about to kick Kim in the head, and then she wasn't."

"Uh huh, uh huh," said Rufus nodding vigorously.

"She couldn't just vanish into thin air!" said Drakken, "Help me look for her."

"Ooookaaayyy," said Kim. She and Ron looked at each other.

"I'll go this way," said Drakken, pointing to the next room.

"AFTER you return the diamond," said Kim pointing at it, still in Drakken's hand.

"Fine, here," said Drakken, tossing it to her. He turned and left the room.

"How freaky is that?" asked Ron.

"I guess he's really worried," answered Kim. She returned the diamond to its broken case, and the two of them went in the opposite direction.


	2. Somewhere Else

Chapter 2 Somewhere Else

From Shego's point of view, Kim Possible had vanished. Startled, she didn't notice that the wall was suddenly a lot closer than it had been. When her foot hit the wall, her instincts kicked in, and she pushed off, doing a triple back flip, and landed in a defensive position.

'There was NO WAY that brat could have moved fast enough to get out of the way!' she thought.

Kimmie was nowhere in sight, and she quickly turned to survey the room. Nothing. Then she realized that no one else was there either. A second later, it dawned on her she was no longer in the museum.

She was in a room with beige walls, floor and ceiling. There was no door visible. There was light, but she couldn't identify the source. There was a faint humming sound on the edge of hearing, but that was all.

There didn't seem to be any immediate danger, so she powered down her hands.

"LET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!" she shouted.

There was no reply.

"FINE!" she said aloud.

She walked the perimeter of the room, looking closely at the walls as she did. After three circuits, she finally thought she had found a door.

"Last chance to let me out! If I have to do it the hard way, someone's gonna pay!" she said.

Nothing.

"Have it your way, then," she said, powering up her hands.

The green glow surrounded them again, and she took aim at the "door". With a shout, she raked her claws against the wall, tearing out chunks of metal.

It took some fifteen blows before she reached the room beyond, and another five before the hole was wide enough to get through. That had been some tough metal. She was sweating a bit from the effort.

She was in a room about the same size as the one she had escaped from, and was obviously a control room. A single control console faced 'her' room. Three chairs sat there, but were empty. On the opposite wall was a door.

She walked around to the controls side of the console, and was startled. Instead of the usual knobs, lights, and switches, there were circular, triangular, and square spaces of various colors. She could make no sense of it at all.

The door slid open as she approached, and she looked out cautiously. Nobody. To either side a corridor ran some fifty feet and abruptly branched away. On the opposite wall was another door. An odd glyph in gold adorned it. She decided to go that way.

The door moved aside, and Shego found herself in a luxurious room. The walls were dark red, and comfortable-looking pillows were scattered around. To one side was a low table, with a variety of what she thought must be foodstuffs on platters. But she didn't recognize anything on it.

High windows lined one wall. Looking out, she saw a barren landscape, with a building in the distance. None of it looked familiar. In fact, she was no longer sure she was even on Earth.


	3. The Kidnapper

Chapter 3 The Kidnapper

"So, there you are," said a female voice from another corner of the room.

Instantly Shego was in a defensive position, her hands powered up. The other person was just a shadow, and Shego could just barely tell where she was.

"If you had just waited a few minutes, you could have saved all that effort," said the stranger.

"I don't like being trapped," said Shego, not relaxing a bit. "Are you the one who brought me here?"

"Yes, I'm responsible," was the answer.

"Then I'm gonna take it out on you. Come out into the light," Shego demanded.

The figure moved to the middle of the room, and Shego's jaw dropped. She forgot to attack, and instead stared wide-eyed.

The woman was tall and well-built. Snow white hair framed a shapely face. A purple-and-yellow striped headband held a green stone.

She wore what looked to Shego like a harem girl's costume. A wide golden band rested on her shoulders, connected to a golden brassier. Gold bands adorned her forearms. A wide golden belt with another green stone circled her waist, holding up a filmy purple skirt split up the sides all the way to her waist. She wore purple slippers.

Her skin was so black it didn't reflect the light in the room. But the strangest thing about her was her face. Large pale blue eyes regarded Shego. She had a purple stripe below her eyes that hinted at a nose, but there was no sign of a mouth.

"All right, Miss No-Face, prepare to get your butt kicked," said Shego, recovering her wits.

"If you insist," said the woman, taking a defensive position.

With a yell, Shego lept to the attack, and the fight was on.

For ten minutes, they tore up the room, punching, kicking, dodging, using anything at hand as a weapon. The woman was good, but Shego was better.

Seeing an opportunity, Shego kicked her in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her. She lay on the floor, gasping for breath. Shego knelt astride her.

The woman's eyes widened. "Don't...please..." she gasped.

"Too late for that! Now for the Big Finish!" she raised her right hand, powering it up, and prepared to end the fight permanently.

There was a cold, metallic tap on her shoulder. "I wouldn't advise that," said a deep voice.

Shego looked over her shoulder to find three robots holding lethal-looking weapons on her.


	4. Introductions

Chapter 4 Introductions

With a yell, Shego swung her arm down, but the woman's hands grabbed and stopped it. They strained against each other for a few seconds.

Shego felt the cold barrel of the weapon against the back of her neck.

"Stop this now," said the robot.

"Grrrr....okay, okay," said Shego. She powered down her hand, and got off the woman.

The woman got up slowly, wincing a bit. She looked at Shego. "You pass the test," she said.

"Test? Want to tell me what's going on?" Shego crossed her arms.

The woman sat down on a large yellow pillow. She gestured at another pillow. "Please sit down."

Shego shook her head. "I'll stand."

"As you wish," said the woman.

"Well?" asked Shego, glancing at the robots, who still had weapons trained on her. She was sizing them up, calculating the possibility of getting a weapon from them. The odds didn't look good.

"First, let me introduce myself," said the woman, straightening her clothes. "I am M'arSha'maL'aow, Queen of the planet Mars."

Shego made a sceptical face. "Queen. Of the planet Mars. Riiight."

"It's true. You're in my palace on Mars," said the Queen.

"Don't make me laugh," said Shego, "There's no life on Mars. Or breathable air, for that matter."

The Queen cocked her head. "Do I look human to you?"

Shego's defensive stand weakened a bit. "...No," she conceded.

"Jump," said the Queen.

"Uh, what?" asked Shego, confused.

"The gravity of Mars is 40% of Earth's. Jump," she said.

Shego pushed with her feet, and indeed, sailed much higher than she should have. The robots followed her movements with mechanical precision.

"I guess you're telling the truth," said Shego, reluctantly.

"Good," said the Queen, leaning forward, "I will pay you very well to remove a thorn from my side."

Shego grinned. "Now I'm back on familiar ground. Who's the target?"

The Queen picked up a remote control, and pushed a button. An entire wall lit up to reveal the enlarged face.

"Duck Dodgers," said the Queen.


	5. Mission

Chapter 5 Mission

Shego cracked up. She laughed until she was weak, and had to sit down. Tears were running from her eyes. The Queen silently gave her a small towel and she wiped at them.

"You've GOT to be kidding me! You kidnapped me all the way to Mars to kill a DUCK!?" she laughed again.

"You don't know this particular duck," said the Queen.

Shego laughed again. "Stop, stop, my sides are killing me!"

The Queen's eyes narrowed. "I picked you because you are the best! If you can't take your work seriously, I'll send you back and find someone else, and pay THEM richly!"

"Okay, okay, you win," said Shego, trying hard not to laugh again. "Tell me more about this duck."

"Just a moment, and you'll know everything you need to," said the Queen, pushing another button on the remote.

A thin beam of blue light flashed down and struck Shego in the forehead. She froze for a few seconds, and the beam cut off.

"Wow," she said, shaking her head. "So now I'm in the 24 Century. I see what you mean about Dodgers. He IS good."

The Queen got a dreamy look in her eyes. "Oh, yessss," she said. "Uh, I mean, he's too good! He upsets my plans for conquest of the Earth, and I want him out of the way!"

"You got it!" said Shego, standing up.

The Queen stood up as well. "Send in Commander X-2," she instructed one of the robots.

A moment later a diminutive figure joined them. To Shego, his outfit vaguely reminded her of a Roman warrior's. He wore a red jumpsuit, white gloves, sneakers, a metal "kilt", and a Roman-style helmet. Like the Queen's his skin was very dark, and there was no sign of a nose or mouth.

Shego fought down an urge to laugh.

"Your Majesty," said the Commander, bowing.

"Commander, this is Shego," said the Queen, "She's going to take care of Dodgers for us."

"But Your Highness, I wanted to take care of Dodgers," whined the Commander.

"You've had your chances. Now I've brought in a professional. You are ordered to take her with you, find Dodgers, and help her destroy him!"

"Very well, Queen," said the Commander. He looked at Shego. "Come on, you."


	6. Pursuit

Chapter 6 Pursuit

The Commander refused to talk to Shego during the ride to the spaceport, so she spent the time looking out the window at the barren Martian landscape, and mentally reviewing what had been beamed into her head about this Duck Dodgers.

At the spaceport, they boarded a large and imposing spaceship and went directly to the Bridge.

"Status report?" the Commander asked of a robot as he sat in the command chair.

"All systems operational, sir; we are resupplied and ready," it replied, in a voice identical to the robot's that had addressed Shego in the palace.

"You have only a robot crew?" asked Shego, looking around.

"Oh, yes," replied the Commander, "Our robots are quite advanced. They make excellent soldiers."

"But not so advanced they can't take care of a single duck," said Shego with a smirk.

The Commander glared at her. "If I wasn't under orders, I would disintegrate you for that remark."

Shego took a defensive stance. "Don't let that stop you," she replied.

"Orders, Commander?" the robot asked forcefully.

A long moment of silence as they glared at each other.

"Launch when ready," said the Commander, finally. Shego relaxed.

Out in space, the ship set a course for Dodger's last known position. Shego watched with interest as Mars receeded in the distance. She noted that it didn't look like pictures she had seen.

***

Several hours later, the robot turned to the Commander. "Dodgers' ship has been found, sir. They are orbiting Uranus."

Shego snorted, then said, "Looking for Klingons, I suppose."

"Looking for what?" asked the Commander, looking at her.

"Never mind. How much longer?"

"About twenty minutes," answered the robot.

"Good. Sneak up behind them, and get us within Evaporator range," said the Commander.

"Yes, sir," answered the robot.

The Commander stood up. "Come with me, and we'll get you ready," he said to Shego, heading for the hatch.

She stood and followed him out.


	7. Arrival

Chapter 7 Arrival

In the Evaporator Room, Shego looked around. There was a control console manned by a robot, and what looked like a giant light bulb with a door in it.

"That's the Evaporator. Isn't in lovely? It will send you straight to Dodgers' ship," said the Commander. "But the technology is far beyond your primative Earth mind to comprehend."

"Oh, a matter transmitter, huh?" said Shego.

"Why, yes," said the Commander, "How are you familiar with it?"

"LONG story, tell you another time," was the answer.

The intercom crackled. "Commander, we are within Evaporator distance."

"Very good; hold station here," he replied.

He held up a small unit. "Here is your communicator. We can also track you with it, so we can get you back. Now, get in. We'll send you straight to the Bridge."

Shego did so, then looked at him. "Aren't you coming too?"

"Oh, heavens no; far be it from me to interfere with a professional at work..."

ZZZAP! Shego was gone.

"...unless I can do so in a way that can't be traced back to me," he finished. He turned and went back to the Bridge.

ZZZAP!

Shego appeared aboard Dodgers'ship. She went into a defensive position and surveyed her surroundings. She WASN'T on the Bridge.

"That goofy little jerk screwed up," she muttered, putting the communicator on her wrist. She tapped it, and a holographic picture of the Commander appeared.

"Hey, I'm not on the Bridge! What happened?"

"You're not?" he asked, "Where are you, then?"

"I'm in a hold full of crates of..." she went over and looked at several lables, "...toilet paper."

"Oh, dear, I AM sorry. I don't know WHAT could have happened," he said, "I'm not very familiar with the layout, but I suggest you take any lift or ladder that goes up. The Bridge is aft and as high as you can go."

"All right, I'm on it," she said. The picture of the Commander disappeared.

Muttering under her breath, Shego stomped out of the hold.


	8. Battle

Chapter 8 Battle

Some time later, Shego made it to the Bridge. She cautiously looked in from the shadows.

She could see the back of Dodgers' head in the Command Chair, and the Cadet at a console to one side. It struck her as funny to see a pig and a duck flying a space ship, and she had to clap a hand over her mouth and turn away for a minute. "I'd swear I was in a cartoon," she thought.

She composed herself, and looked around the corner again. Neither one was looking her way.

She ran toward Dodgers as quietly as she could.

"Say, Cadet, what was the code to get into the games files, again?" asked Dodgers, fiddling with a remote control.

The Cadet glanced up and saw Shego. She paid him no attention, as he wasn't the target.

"Uh, Cap'n Dodgers..." said the Cadet, staring.

"No, that's not it, I already tried it," said Dodgers, pushing a button. He dropped the remote. "Whoops."

He leaned over to get it just as Shego arrived and slammed her fists down where he had been. The back of the chair broke and fell off.

"HEY!" yelled Dodgers, "What hap..." he turned and looked at Shego. "Wow! Hiya, doll! What brings you to my neck of the woods?"

"The desire for your death," said Shego.

"Who is she, Cap'n?" asked the Cadet.

"I've no idea," said Dodgers, "Unless you're that little number I met on Atlas VII. You're strong enough to be," he added, looking at the chair.

With a yell, Shego jumped the chair and tried to kick Dodgers in the head.

"YIPE!" said Dodgers, ducking.

Shego's foot smashed the console and got stuck. While she struggled to get free, Dodgers ran from the Bridge, followed by the Cadet.

She finally had to power up her plasma fists to get free, and she followed after Dodgers.


	9. Sabotage

Chapter 9 Sabotage

Shego and Dodgers played cat-and-mouse through the ship for some time. At one point, she found the Cadet dressed as Dodgers, complete with fake duck bill, which didn't fool her for a second.

This was a great relief to the Cadet, who let her tie him up without a struggle. But she couldn't get him to say where Dodgers was hiding,  
so continued the search, every sense she had straining to the limit for any hint.

One thing's for sure, she thought, he's very good at hiding.

Moving slowly down a corridor, she suddenly stopped. Looking to her left, she saw a hatch. Written on it was "MEN". 'He CAN'T be THAT dumb,'  
she thought, but went inside anyway. It was empty and quiet, except for the drip of water from a leaky faucet.

Quietly she stepped over to the closest stall, and slammed open the door. Nothing. The second one: nothing. She opened the third and last stall. Nothing. She waited, not making a sound.

Suddenly, from behind the door, an eye peeked around the corner. He was hanging onto the coathook. He saw Shego, and the eye grew wide.

"Hi, there!" she said, powering up her claw, "Long time, no see."

"Miss me?" asked Dodgers, "Please?"

"Mmmm...no," said Shego, and raked the door where he was.

Somehow, though, she missed him, and before she could react, he was out of the room and gone, yelling all the way.

"Man, he's fast. Guess that's why his name is Dodgers," she said.

The door opened. "No, actually it really is my family name," said Dodgers, looking in.

"AAAAAARRGGG!! Yelled Shego, and started after him again.

Finally she had him trapped in the same hold she had arrived in. He was cowering against the far bulkhead as she stepped closer.

"Can't we talk about this?" asked Dodgers.

"Okay, we can talk until I reach you," answered Shego, powering up her claws.

"Gulp. O-okay, what's this about, anyway?" asked Dodgers.

"I was hired to get rid of you, that's all," said Shego.

"Oh, so you AREN'T that girl from Atlas VII," said Dodgers.

"Nope. Next question."

"Why don't you...LOOK OUT!" said Dodgers, looking up.

"Hah, oldest trick in the book. And here I thought you were good," she answered, and raised a claw.

A crate landed on Shego, smashing open as it did. Rolls of toilet paper flew in all directions.

"Whew, what in incredibly lucky thing to happen," said Dodgers, wiping his brow. He carefully stepped around the crate, and left the hold, locking it behind him.


	10. Home

Chapter 10 Home

The Martian Commander hopped down from a crate.

"There was nothing lucky about it, Dodgers," he said to the closed door, "If anyone is going to be your downfall, it will be me."

He dug through the rolls of toilet paper, and fished Shego's unconsious body out.

"Still, I have to admit she's good. One more step, and she would have succeeded where I've so often failed," he said.

He touched the communicator on his wrist. "Bring us back, now," he ordered.

ZZAP!

Back aboard, waiting robots put Shego on a stretcher, and took her to sick bay. They kept her sedated on the trip to Mars.

***

Shego woke up in a familiar beige room. She sat up too quickly, and her head pounded.

Suddenly a wall glowed, filled with the face of an angry Martian Queen.

"Dodgers defeated you, too. So I'm sending you back, without the reward," she said, "Goodbye."

"But..." said Shego, and the world changed.

She found herself sitting at the place she had left from, holding her head, and feeling the lump gingerly.

Dr. Drakken, Kimmie, and Ron were standing with their backs to her, talking.

"Any sign of her?" asked Drakken, sounding worried.

"None at all. I can't imagine what happened," said Kim.

"I'm right here. Owww, my head," said Shego.

All three turned and looked at her in surprise. They looked at each other, then back at her.

"Where'd you go?" asked Drakken.

"Well, I--" she started, and was interrupted by the police arriving. Kim held up a hand, and they stopped.

The three were still looking at her, waiting expectantly.

"Aww, forget it. I'm not sure I believe it myself," she said, as the policemen helped her up, and put her in handcuffs.

"We'll get a doctor to look at that lump when we get to the station," said one of the policemen.

Shego nodded, which made her head hurt worse. What had happened? Was it all a hallucination? It had to be. There weren't any Martians, or ducks flying space ships.

As they reached the wagon, she reached up with her cuffed hands to grab a rail bar, and a shock ran through her.

She was still wearing the Martian communicator.

The End


End file.
